I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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