i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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