that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
