Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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