Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
