The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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