I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
