just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
