i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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