You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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