i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
