Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
