well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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