I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
