Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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