i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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