I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize