Are we in a gay sports bar?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
