omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
