Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize