He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
