Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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