So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
