i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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