woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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