i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
