I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
