If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
