She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
