nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
