I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
