I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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