piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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