Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize