Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
