Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
