Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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