just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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