I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
