He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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