does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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