these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
