she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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