have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
