When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
