Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
