How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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