Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
soo... how was my night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
