I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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