Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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