these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
