So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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