You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
