Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
